ma, i met a boy
ma i met a boy
"if you could be anything in the world, what would you want to be?" maybe someone who is loved softly. maybe someone who is loved without destruction. maybe someone who calms the storms inside you.
i told the universe i am tired of apocalypses and it brought me him instead. i think millay would have written poems about him if she loved him. ma, i think he's very easy to love. make him bear with me. make him swallow my senseless poetry.
if his smile was a colour it would be the brightest shade of yellow. i replay it in my head for most of the hours. the rest i spend crafting out ways to tell him how beautiful he is. ma, his voice does weird things to me. it's like warm sun in winters and a downpour in summers. it's how i feel when i see daisies or when people tell me i look like you.
he plays the guitar and all i can think of are his fingers, or how gentle they would be on my skin. or what it must feel like to hold them. i hope i know that someday. will he play the strings of my heart just as well as he plays the six strings? ma, i want to know him like the back of my hand. i think he has beautiful eyes. i think he has beautiful hands. do you think he'll turn into an apocalypse too? do you think i'll fit into his yellow world with my baggages of pale grey?
he has long hair, ma. i'd like to bury my face in them till his smell becomes a part of me. someday i'll find god between the strands of his hair. is it childish to feel this way already? he'll be a beautiful addition to my life, ma. i think i have started to look forward to tomorrows with him.
i hear him sing and life feels kinder. he plays with his strings and the voices in my head stop. can you be jealous of inanimate things? can you be jealous of people who knew someone when you didnt?
"if you could be anything in the world, what would you want to be?" a love ballad he listens to on repeat. the pillow that touches his hair everyday. the view of the skyline from his balcony. someone he trusts his heart with. the last person he talks to before succumbing to sleep. his guitar.
nibir/ wanna make you fall in love as hard as my poor parents' teenage daughter
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